Individuality

"I always find it funny that people will go over to these countries thinking that they're going to improve the lives of these people. What ends up happening is that the villagers teach the American much more than they learn."
"Maybe that's more of the point of Peace Corps now - to serve as a sort of cultural exchange for Americans, except we're the only ones who are exchangable."
"I'm sure you'll be fine." ~from an earlier blog post, "A Conversation at Weatherford's"

I remember first coming here, and thinking to myself that my main focus was on working the first goal of Peace Corps, which is to help local people meet their need for trained men and women. The other two goals, teaching locals about American culture and teaching Americans about local culture, were going to be ancillary. After a year here, I think I am pleased with the work I have done with first goal thus far.

What I hadn't expected was just how much I would be doing of the other two goals. I had no idea just how much of my experiences would be relaying information about America to Moroccans. I had no idea that people would be so interested in how things work in Morocco. I also never knew that my individuality would be questioned so blatantly. Just the other day, I was buying some items to decorate my house. I went into the store and bought some fake long stem flowers with the buds on them, but the vase didn't match it. I saw a smaller blue glass jar that would look interesting.

"You can't buy that." The woman at the front said.
"I beg your pardon?" I asked.
"You can't put flowers in that. It's not a vase."
"But I like how it looks."

The woman huffed and turned around, knowing that she wasn't going to win the argument. I stood aghast at how much of a fight she put up. I explained it later on to D_____, as we were painting my parlor room blue. I like the color blue. I have blue cushions to sit on, and I have white tablecloths. I told him that I wanted the feeling that when we entered this room, we were flying in the sky in clouds.

"Most people down here paint their houses red."
"I know, but I like blue."
"Blue is the color used up north."
"Everyone has red. I am not like everyone."
"It looks good. It looks like up north."

D_____, an Anglophile, understands individuality in the same way most Americans know about Europe. They've never been there, they've never actually experienced it, but they read up a little bit on it, so they have a vague idea about it.

"You see, D_____, in America, a house is an extension of one's personality. I am a peaceful person, I am a Buddhist, so I want these things to be apparent in my house."

It's a two-way street, however. In Morocco, the stores all have the same items, and the items with which there is a choice, the choice is limited. The expression of individual personalities is difficult in that regards. But is it the lack of variety that enables the lack of individuality, or is it the collective culture, which focuses on everyone being alike, that makes the need for variety in stores unnecessary? Is the lack of variety also due to the culture of non-materialism, or is it merely economic? There are so many questions, and so few answer that I have still. Obviously, if you ask a young Anglophile Moroccan and an older, more religious Moroccan the same question, you will get a different answer.

Right now, though, I tend to lean towards a combination of the two. The answer, I feel can be answered once I return to America, where these individual options will be readily available to me. I don't really consider myself as ever having been materialistic. Here, however, I do not have access to things, so I am used to not focusing on buying things or diversifying my experiences in food or entertainment. I like to think, however, that I will go back to seeking to carve out an individual identity when I return.

What I have noticed here, though, is that the younger generation is definitely more Western in that regard. The emergence or ska, punk, emo, and other genres of culture are seeping into the kids, and their hair, their clothes, and their mannerisms are reflecting that. People want to be themselves, and so it is possible that the lack of individuality is simply due to lack of things. I feel that there are definitely going to be some major changes to the world once my and the next generation gets into power. I can't wait to see it.