On Being a Man

The summer heat had just rolled into Errachidia. We had just finished a dinner of American salad and Moroccan pizza, and were sitting around the table, listening to Lisa Gerrard. A volunteer sat by the open window, skyping her mother while the rest of us tried to carry on a conversation.

"Who is this woman singing?" A Moroccan asked.
"Lisa Gerrard," I said, "her voice is typically used in movie soundtracks."
"Her voice is really deep and loud," He said.
"Yes, her voice demands that you pay attention to it."

Lisa Gerrard's classical singing voice is considered contralto, the lowest of the female singing voices. The contralto's voice is close in range to a male tenor's voice, and thus, a female contralto's voice can double for men's singing parts, as well. I learned this and thought to myself, Is it because of the deepness of her voice, the sound waves sounding like that is a man, that she is able to command attention? If I remembered correctly, in high school, I was considered a tenor. I never really tried to draw attention to myself in high school, and for that, I was considered to be "off", or worse.

In Morocco, men have to yell. Even in the early morning, they have to yell so that they can sell their wares. Walking through souk, even if someone is standing next to me, the store owner has to scream out as loud as he can, the prices for everything. When at the bus station, I can hear the names of the cities that the bus is driving to from many feet away. It makes sense here because even though there are signs that tell the times that buses are going to different cities, they aren't reliable. It's as though every man is trying to draw attention to himself in some way. I want to tell them all that yelling throughout the entire day, coupled with the constant consumption of tea and cigarettes, eventually destroys one's voice.

Nowadays, my voice is slightly lower than in high school, but I never raise my voice to be very loud. People have described it as "airy", and "soft". Once, I went into a cafe that had other people. There was a woman there, along with some men. There is no concept or order or lines in Morocco, so everyone simply pushes as best they can to get to the front, regardless of who got there first. I noticed that I and the woman were trying to get the attention of the man at the counter while he was focus on on the stream of men who would come in, shout out their order, toss change onto the counter, and then leave. The man at the counter never looked at neither me nor the woman. After a while, I finally decided to lower my voice, which is something that I always hate to do. I shouted out what I wanted. Just like that, it was as though the man at the counter finally saw me standing there. It was as though I finally existed to him. It's funny how having a man's voice is so beneficial for everyday encounters.

Another difference that I have found in my voice is when I try to teach something. I find that when I use the voice with which I am comfortable using, there is hesitation for the men and women I am trying to teach. But when I lower my voice, they seem to understand that I know what I'm talking about. Maybe my real voice just sounds unsure of itself.

This, as well as my body language, is such an important key to interact properly with people. Maybe it is because they see a man, they expect to hear a demanding voice, and they expect to see an aggressive stance. The handshake is also something that I never understood. The handshake is supposed to be an act of friendship, but they way men grip each other's hands, I can't help but wonder if they would rather it be a sign of aggression. Even in America, men subconsciously shake hands as though they are in some sort of death grip competition. In Morocco, when I look at men's hands, I can see the muscles tighten and assume they are just trying to have some sort of strength competition, but when they shake women's hands, there is no tightening. They are actually greeting each other.

Everything about men seems to be designed to allow for them to be noticed in any way possible. Their voice, their body language, their interactions. Men are in most positions of power. Men control much of the economy. Men are more often seen in media as the lone soldier, the lone avenger, the lone hero. In many ways, I hit the genetic jackpot of the white male born in America. Aren't I fortunate?